Friends.

Okay well I’m just going to warn you now there might be some inappropriate language in this blog because this subject really pushes my buttons and gets me fired up…

So last week I was on a spouse-run support Facebook page for the base that my husband and I are currently at (which shall remain nameless)... well I was reading down the page and my eyes happened to land on a particular post where a fellow wife asked something like this: “Do you think it is wrong for me to not allow my husband to have female friends? Am I just a jealous person? I’m so confused here...”

Well there were all these replies from other wives saying things such as, “I don’t allow my husband to have female friends unless they were my friend first,” “No! You are so right.. my husband has no business having female friends other than me,” and the one that really got me was “I’m not allowed to have male friends and my husband doesn’t have female friends, it just isn’t right. We trust each other.”

I so did not comment on that one because as I said above I get fired up about it and would probably have said some not so nice things. How are you going to tell a grown ass man who he can or cannot be friends with? My husband doesn’t personally have a lot of female friends, but if he did why would I have a problem with it? He comes home to me. He married me. He loves me… seeing a trend here? I would sure hope so.

Then ironically, a few days later I was having a conversation with a wife who said she had told this to one of the husbands, “I’m not friends with you, I’m friends with your wife… I’m just nice to you.” Really now? Come one lady, get a grip. Again, no comment was made for obvious reasons.

I was later told that it really isn’t right for a military wife to have other male friends, besides their husband’s friends and this is what I will bite your head off for saying to me.

As I said in my little introduction my husband was gone to EOD school for over four months and within those four months I was always hanging out with my guy friends (which most happened to be sailors themselves). They were there for me when I was having those really bad nights, when I just plain missed my boyfriend/fiancé (at the time) – they could relate to my situation, they helped me with homework, they were my shoulder to cry on, and my person to vent to (which I did a lot haha).

I am going to say this once and only once, THEY WERE NOT TRYING TO GET IN MY PANTS or vice versa. They were good friends, I would even consider them BROTHERS! I know there is a HUGE stereotype that military wives/girlfriends/fiancées cheat when their S/O is gone which so isn’t true (yes, I know there are plenty of exceptions) but not everyone does it. A lot of people say that when it happens, it’s usually with a friend, but these guys were my friends before I met my S/O and they will continue to be no matter what.

I am a grown ass woman. I am perfectly capable of choosing who I will be friends with and who I will not be friends with, I don’t need your opinion to do so.

Get the picture? I will not change my view because certain wives have sticks up their butts so far that it pushes their noses into the air. (that made me laugh a little when I typed this.)