Recipe for a Military Marriage

So I, like many other wives (young and old), spend so much of my time googling things military related. Well a few months ago I was doing my regular googling and stumbled upon this real cute saying-type thing so I thought I would share:

Recipe for a Military S/O

1 ½ Cups of Patience

1 Cup of Courage

¾ Cup of Tolerance

Dash of Adventure

1 Pound of Ability

To the above ingredients: Add 2 tablespoons elbow grease and let stand alone for one year. Marinate frequently with salty tears. Pour off excess fat and sprinkle ever so lightly with money then knead dough until payday. Season with international spices. Bake 20 years or until done. Makes unlimited servings. SERVE WITH PRIDE.

Like I said before, I thought that was really cute. As I read it a few times I began thinking, “What is my marriage made of?” So here it goes…

4 ½ Cups of Strength

5 Tablespoons of Sarcasm (more may be added if necessary)

3 Cups of Patience

1 Teaspoon of Independence

1 Teaspoon of Worry

Mix the above ingredients together vigorously and let set for 3 months in refrigerator. Sprinkle love over mixture until coated thoroughly. Bake at 425^oF for 5 months. Let cool for 3 days.

Serving Size: Unlimited

(Caution – May cause frustration if over cooked.)

That last part made me laugh. Anyways, let me give a small explanation of what the numbers in there mean... 3 months is how long he was gone in Great Lakes (during winter), 425^o is our wedding anniversary (April 25th), 5 months is how long we have been married, and 3 days is how long it took me to get from California to our new home in North Carolina.

Enjoy.

ABC’s

So I know it’s been a few days since my last post, but I haven’t really had anything interesting happen for me to write about that is exactly relatable... Lame, I know. Well anyways there are about million different things that I want to bring up in my blogs, but usually there isn’t enough to write about that specific topic so here are the ABC’s of military life…

A – Acronyms (Ahhh!! There are way too many of them.)

B – Ball Season (So exciting. I can’t wait to get all dressed up and see my hubby in his dress blues.)

C – Communication (I can’t say this one enough.)

D – Dress Uniform Inspections (Absolutely love these, the only times I get to see my husband in his dress blues/whites.)

E – Exchange (there are always about a million people there, I guess that’s why I NEVER go..)

F – FRO (Family Readiness Officer, we all know how helpful they are.)

G – Gossip (It never ends, military wives are just like high school girls no matter the age.)

H – Hurry up & Wait (Self Explanitory.)

I – Iraq (Somewhere I hope my husband doesn’t go anywhere soon...)

J – Jury Duty (Never again! Haha)

K – Kill, kill, kill (Not ever soldier thinks this way, idiots.)

L – Leave (We can’t get enough of this.. My favorite time of the year)

M – Moving (having strangers come in, pack, and hope everything makes it to the new duty station in one piece)

N – Naval Base (I hope we go to one next, I’m not too fond of Marine Bases.)

O – OPSEC (Learn it & Abide by it. )

P – PT (Again, it never ends..)

Q – Quitting (It is never an option)

R – Relax (I think this is all my husband ever wants to do when he comes home from work, I try my best to let him do this but we all must make sacrifices.. bahaha!)

S – Skype (Our relationship savior, got us though a few months and made things so much easier.)

T – Trust (The foundation to every military marriage, in my opinion.)

U – Uniforms (They just look so yummy in their uniforms, it gives me butterflies every time.)

V – Vulgar (Need I say more? Not uh..)

W – Waiting (As a military wife, we are always doing this. I know I will never get used to it.)

X – Xanax (A LOT of military wives should be on this.. I sure know a few.)

Y – Yellow Ribbons (I absolutely love them)

Z – Zip It (A true S/O knows when to just shut their mouths and listen)

Friends.

Okay well I’m just going to warn you now there might be some inappropriate language in this blog because this subject really pushes my buttons and gets me fired up…

So last week I was on a spouse-run support Facebook page for the base that my husband and I are currently at (which shall remain nameless)... well I was reading down the page and my eyes happened to land on a particular post where a fellow wife asked something like this: “Do you think it is wrong for me to not allow my husband to have female friends? Am I just a jealous person? I’m so confused here...”

Well there were all these replies from other wives saying things such as, “I don’t allow my husband to have female friends unless they were my friend first,” “No! You are so right.. my husband has no business having female friends other than me,” and the one that really got me was “I’m not allowed to have male friends and my husband doesn’t have female friends, it just isn’t right. We trust each other.”

I so did not comment on that one because as I said above I get fired up about it and would probably have said some not so nice things. How are you going to tell a grown ass man who he can or cannot be friends with? My husband doesn’t personally have a lot of female friends, but if he did why would I have a problem with it? He comes home to me. He married me. He loves me… seeing a trend here? I would sure hope so.

Then ironically, a few days later I was having a conversation with a wife who said she had told this to one of the husbands, “I’m not friends with you, I’m friends with your wife… I’m just nice to you.” Really now? Come one lady, get a grip. Again, no comment was made for obvious reasons.

I was later told that it really isn’t right for a military wife to have other male friends, besides their husband’s friends and this is what I will bite your head off for saying to me.

As I said in my little introduction my husband was gone to EOD school for over four months and within those four months I was always hanging out with my guy friends (which most happened to be sailors themselves). They were there for me when I was having those really bad nights, when I just plain missed my boyfriend/fiancé (at the time) – they could relate to my situation, they helped me with homework, they were my shoulder to cry on, and my person to vent to (which I did a lot haha).

I am going to say this once and only once, THEY WERE NOT TRYING TO GET IN MY PANTS or vice versa. They were good friends, I would even consider them BROTHERS! I know there is a HUGE stereotype that military wives/girlfriends/fiancées cheat when their S/O is gone which so isn’t true (yes, I know there are plenty of exceptions) but not everyone does it. A lot of people say that when it happens, it’s usually with a friend, but these guys were my friends before I met my S/O and they will continue to be no matter what.

I am a grown ass woman. I am perfectly capable of choosing who I will be friends with and who I will not be friends with, I don’t need your opinion to do so.

Get the picture? I will not change my view because certain wives have sticks up their butts so far that it pushes their noses into the air. (that made me laugh a little when I typed this.)

Everyday…

So a few times now I have heard how the military wife life (ignore that ridiculous rhyme please) is all flowers and sunshine. Haha yeah freaking right!

Trying to stay busy during the day is probably easy for most military wives, yeah not for this one. There is only so much cleaning, Facebooking, TV watching, and cooking one person can do during the day before they start to go a little crazy. Just being honest here…

I’m sure you can imagine with no kids or pets to keep me busy, I find myself trying to come up with new things to do. It really isn’t as simple as it sounds though. Sometimes I think I need some new hobbies... well actually I don’t think, I know I do.

Most of the days that I’m REALLY, really bored, I’ll clean. Anyone who knows me can tell you how much I just looove to do that (I’m hoping you picked up on the sarcasm there because if not we’re in trouble).

A few weeks ago I cleaned both bathrooms, vacuumed, did dishes, swiffered, changed the bedding, did laundry, and put away clothes all before 10am. It was quite an accomplishment for three hours I would say.

ANYWAYS, I wanted to share my average day-to-day routine with you so you can see for yourself the joys I go through… (again sarcasm)

5:30 am – Wake up to Husband’s alarm going off. Trying to go back to sleep is always a fail.

6:35 am – Husband leaves for work, I finally doze back off.

7:00 am – Wake up again and watch Dr. Phil.

shower in between

10:00 am – Take something out for dinner.

10:00 am – Move to the couch...

11:00 am – Watch The View.

12:15 pm – Lunch, sometimes.

12:20 pm – Back to the couch for more TV and facebooking.

4:15 pm– Start dinner so it will be ready when John gets home.

5:30 pm – Husband arrives home and immediately heads for the shower, I precede to talk his ear off from the minute he walks through the door.

If you think that is flowers and sunshine, you really need a life!

And this is where I will stop and get to my point; I think my husband wishes that I had more female friends around here or something to do so I wouldn’t have to unload 10 and a half hours worth of thoughts on him all in the fifteen minutes he’s in the shower trying to de-stress. I’m pretty sure I do this because I know he has to listen to me and can’t escape. I didn’t realize how bad that sounded until I typed it out, haha.

Most people will say, “oh just get a job or go back to school,” if it was only that easy. How about you try finding a decent college that will accept two years worth of credits from California or try finding someone to hire you with almost no real job experience.. Sometimes I wish life had that big red ‘easy’ button like in those Staples commercials.

Now obviously I’m not looking for a pitty party here, I “know what I signed up for” when I married my husband and chose to partake in this lifestyle. What gets under my skin is going on Facebook seeing all these wives constantly complaining about EVERYTHING that has to do with the lifestyle. Yes, I will be honest every now and then I need a little vent on Facebook, but I’m not going to air all my business out there for the world to see.

I know better..

Did I get my point across? I don’t really know this time.

Get It? Nope.

So here is a list of things associated with the military that I don’t quite understand or things that annoy me... I’ll try to keep it short.

1. Military Time – Yeah I probably should understand it, but nope I don’t.

2. Weekend Duty Days – Really? Yes. I swear I think they know that I like spending the weekends with my husband because they always seem to give him duty on Fridays which throws everything off. They should save weekend duty for all the trouble makers on base.

3. Pay Days – 1st and the 15th. Yeah it used to be that simple, but not anymore. It’s so confusing now! I really wish they’d make it like it used to be = EASY. Oh and not have payday be in the middle of the freakin’ week, what's up with that? Seriously.

4. Naval Hospitals – Need I say more? Nope.

5. Babysitting – How do these crazy military wives post on the internet asking for people to watch their children? I’m sorry (well not really) if I had a kid I would not be posting on FB asking for some stranger to come into my home to watch my child. Just creeps me out!

6. The Oldies – By this I am referring to the older military wives who think they know absolutely every because they’ve been around the block a few times.. Yeah, sometimes it's nice to get a little advice but stay out of my business homie, times are changing.

7. Wearing Rank – Wives who wear their husband’s rank. Hello, REALITY CHECK! You did not earn it, he did.

8. Spouce-Run Support Sites – Yeah, some are pretty legit and quite helpful, but most are absolutely ridiculous.

9. Bootcamp Folding – Just be happy I do your stinky laundry and put it away. Haha. Yes, I will admit that I do fold his socks and make them ‘smile’, but that’s it. I will not give in, I will not. (I think this is my favorite on the list so far)

10. Commissary Crazies – Personally I have never shopped at the commissary on this new base, BUT back home when I would go with my mom on payday weekends all of the crazies would be there. I swear you would think these people were dying of starvation or something. It's like calm down, take a breather. Oh and this applies to the Wal-Mart here too.

11. ‘96’ Muster – Really, what is the point of having a muster the day before they go back to work during a '96'? Annoying.

12. Hurry Up and Wait – This one is from a fellow military spouse, but I totally agree. I’m sure we have all experienced this before and nothing is more frustrating. “They rushrushrush and then make them wait.” by A.W.

There were so many more, but some deserve a blog of their very own.

The Good. The Bad. The Ugly.

Today I figured I would actually get into a little about the my life as a young woman married to a Dixie Cup.

There are plenty more, I’m sure of it, but theses are just a few that I have encountered in my short time here.


Cooking! Something I actually kinda, maybe enjoy doing a little bit. Who would have thought? Not me thats for sure! Before I lived with my husband I never cooked anything more than top ramen or raviolis... I always try and have dinner ready for him when he comes home, it’s the least I can do right?

Living in a state that I never had any interest in being in, ever. My mom says it’s a good thing and that I’m gaining new life experiences yadi yada yada... the whole sha-bang. I guess it’s a good thing or well, I have to make it that way. After all, “Home is where his boots are.”

I guess there is something to this whole independence thing…

A semester break from school sounded great, but it definitely wasn’t. I never realized how fortunate I was to have my dad’s VA benefits – now I have to figure it out on my own. I never thought I would have to worry about school like I am now. I find myself endlessly ‘googling’ schools, scholarships, and tuition assistance. At times I feel like school is completely out of my reach.

Trying to find a job here is worse than trying to find a job in California and that’s saying something...

I know I’m not the only ones who realize how catty military wives can be. People say that the wives have to depend on each other for support and how they are the onle ones who will be able to relate to you, but – um.. No! I have no problem being your friend, just dont bring your drama into my life because quite frankly I don't want to hear it. Thanks.

Please, think before you speak or type for that matter. The ignorance that SOME people have about military life is unbelievable. You would think that if a person has family associated with the military they would be more aware of the stupidity spewing out of their mouths, but I guess you can’t expect everyone to be strong enough to understand it and that is all I have to say about that... ha.

Have a good day & thanks for reading The Good. The Bad. The Ugly.

The End to a New Beginning.

Be prepared, this is gonna be a long one.. haha!

As 2010 came to a close, I knew that there was a tough road ahead for me. My then boyfriend (now my husband) and I had been dating for five months, back in November he had asked me to go to Texas with him to meet his family and of course I said yes, but then came the difficult part.. trying to convince my parents to let me take the 1, 404 mile trip to Wichita Falls, TX. To my surprise they both said yes, with almost no hesitation bought my plane ticket that night.

January 7, 2011 at 7:30 am we started on the road to Texas. This was my first road trip, ever! I’m sure you could imagine my excitement and worry. The first day was a total of 14 hours; we stopped for the night in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

January 8, 2011 – This was the day; I was going to meet my boyfriend’s family for the very first time and had to go all the way to Texas to do so. I had so much worry that they wouldn’t like me and stuff.. Well we made it to Texas early evening. It turned out that his family really nice, it was such a relief.

It seemed like my time in Texas went by incredibly fast, the night before I left we got into a huge fight about absolutely nothing. I felt this was going to be the last time I would be that happy. If you couldn’t tell, I wasn’t too confident our relationship would last considering he would be going to a new Duty Station after all of the schooling. Needless to say, that was the longest night of my life and we worked everything out.

After returning to California I began my fourth semester of community college and my husband (then boyfriend) left to Great Lake to try and go to school to be an EOD Diver. It felt like we were always busy, but we ALWAYS found time to Skype on the weekends. It was our way of staying connected. As January came and went, there were problems with his schooling and we found out that he would be eventually be dropped from the program. This was bitter-sweet news to the both of us, but with this news came the news that John would be able to come visit me for the weekend. I never in a million years thought that a boyfriend would be willing to spend $600 on a plane ticket for the weekend in California.

(we like making faces at eachother, it's how we show our love)

February 25, 2011 was the absolute longest day ever for me. I had to wait all day for that airport kiss I had been wanting. After waiting for ten or so minutes he walked down that long hallway and I finally got my kiss that was long overdue, little did I know I had an even better surprise coming that night..

Now for the exciting part, John asked me to marry him and of course with no hesitation I said, “Yes!” Three days after, he was back to Great Lakes and I was trying to plan a wedding. It was nothing special, nothing I wanted, but those are the sacrifices you have to make when you work around the Navy’s schedule. We also found out that our new Duty Station would be a Marine base in North Carolina.

Two months after popping the question we were married.

And now for the not so exciting part – trying to figure out how to get myself, my things, and all of our wedding presents to the other side of the country. Although, my husband was there to help me with getting the PCS in motion, I was on my own for the pack-out. Thankfully I had my parents there to watch over the movers and make sure everything made it out of the house in one piece. Monday, June 6th the movers arrived right on time and had everything packed and on the truck in a few hours.

The big day was finally here… time to leave the only home I had ever known, my family, friends, and school for a place I knew absolutely nothing about. It was a long four day drive with my dad, but I was so happy I had him there to take the trip with me. I honestly don’t know what I would do if I had to go alone…

I have now been in North Carolina for almost four months. Adjusting to everything here has NOT been easy. I have to admit, I didn’t have the greatest attitude about moving here, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. Actually living with my husband and being on my own is the best thing that could have ever happened to me.. Hopefully there is more to this small town then meets the eye.

The Introduction...

So, I am pretty new to the whole blogging world to say the least. I want to start out by introducing myself..

My name is Rebecca, I’m nineteen-years-old and I’m from California; I’ll be twenty in about three and a half weeks. A little under five months ago I married the love of my life, my Dixie Cup. So many people told me I was crazy for doing so because we had only dated for seven months and two and a half of those months he was in Great Mistakes trying to be an EOD Diver (the fact that he is nine years older than me didn’t sit well with some people), but ANYWAYS I knew deep down that he was the one and I would never be able to find anyone who could even come close to him.

Going from a military dependent to a military spouse was quite a change, to say the least. Yeah sure I had grown up with the USN being a part of my life, but never to this extent. Before I was married, I was going to school full time to be an English teacher and working (very) part time in junior high classrooms as an AVID tutor and teachers assistant. I was completely surrounded by family all the time; I was always at my sister’s spending time with her and my nephews, and not to mentions hanging out with friends until the first PCS to North Carolina…

Never in a million years would I have pictured at nineteen I would be living on the opposite coast, married, and playing the whole “stay at home house wife” role. Anyone who knows me would say the same! Going to from being busy all the time to sitting at home all day doing nothing but watching tv, doing laundry, making dinner, and cleaning was depressing at first– I’m not scared to admit it. Now as the months are starting pass I’m adjusting to the change of lifestyle quite nicely if I do say so myself.

After living with my parents for nineteen years and being almost completely dependent on them, this new found independence has been a little freeing…

Well, I think that is enough for now. I am hoping that this blog will shed a little insight into the life of a young, navy wife. Its not all flowers and sunshine like some people make it out to be and I’m not trying to make it seem that way.

Have a nice day.